Three is a Crowd

The first thing AJ did after I checked into the hospital to be induced for Baby #3 was to slather lotion on my legs. "That way the doctor won't be so grossed out by your lizard legs," he said as only a loving husband can. My scaly legs must make quite an impression, because the first thing my friends did when they arrived at my house on the morning of my wedding (9 years ago) was the same thing–butter up my legs. Fast forward (back to the hospital), I'm sitting on the hospital bed with moist legs and ready to give birth.

The Birth

My nurses were incredibly nice and relaxed. They laughed when I told them I thought my varicose veins were herpes and they imparted crucial knowledge to me from their past deliveries - like did you know STDs smell like fish? Everything progressed normally, with a pitocin drip, breaking the amniotic sac, and increasing contractions, an epidural, but all I could think about was how hungry I was. The doctor had instructed me not to eat anything that day in case I became nauseated from the drugs or the need to operate, but I was borderline delirious from hunger in the afternoon. My husband ate a hamburger from the downstairs cafeteria, and I shed some tears watching him eat it. When the doctor came in and predicted that I would give birth around midnight (in eight hours), I felt dejected. My mind did the math. I thought to myself, "If I want to put in a dinner order to the cafeteria before it closes at 6:00 p.m., I need to give birth within the next hour." And like magic, it was so! The doctor came back in to check on me and then there was a calm but rushed gathering of their tools because I was ready to go.

The nurses each grabbed one of my legs for support because the birthing stirrups were broken, and I began to push. "Mmmm!" the doctor commented, "cucumber melon!" That was the scent of my leg lotion. To push the baby out, it took longer than my last one because he was "sunny-side up," but at a quarter to 5, the baby made his loud and slimy appearance. "I'd like the turkey and stuffing dinner!" I told the nurse.

As I first held my baby, I noticed how loud he was for such a little guy. He lay on my chest, crying and hacking up fluid from his lungs. It was cute. I held him for a long time. Hen-hen.

Living in the hospital for the three days after was great! I pursued the cafeteria menu and planned out the wonderful things I would eat. I watched hours of, "My 700-Pound Life" and "Hoarders," on TV. I did no house work and only took care of one kid! I was sad to leave.

Life After Birth

Now that I am back home and AJ is back to work, I'm awakened to the cruel reality of three kids. Rosie, the oldest, is incredibly jealous of Hen-hen and has chosen to win our love by being snarky and rude. Simon, once a fully functioning 3-year old, has decided his legs no longer work and needs to be carried everywhere. Hen-hen is a good baby, but chooses to contribute to the chaos by producing diaper blow-outs daily. Sometimes at the end of the day, my ears are ringing from the constant noise. This must be another reason they say, "three is a crowd."

But I am learning slowly how to handle the herd. After a hard week with Rosie - in which she proclaimed she no longer believed in God and that everyone hates her - I lay in bed pondering the situation. I'd received several rounds of advice, all urging me to spend more time with my kids or pay closer attention to their needs. This frustrated me because as I sat, I thought to myself, "I don't even have time to pay attention to my own needs." That was when I had an epiphany. I imagined an empty cup trying to pour liquid into several other little cups. Nothing happened, because the first cup was empty. That was when I decided to break the cycle by being a little more selfish. I was going to take care of my needs first.

Most the time, I'm so frazzled with taking care of Simon and Hen-hen during the day that when I go to pick up Rosie from school, I'm like a wilting flower. I'm barely able to say, "how was your day?" Now, before I go pick her up, I try to do some things that are enjoyable and restful to me. I read a book. I eat chocolate. I take a nap. I shower. Sometimes, I even go to the bathroom. I try to save my best energies for her at the end of the day by being more selfish earlier in the day. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it has helped me curb the downward spiral.

And so while two is company, three is crowd–at least it's never boring. With each new stage, I'm learning something new. Gotta go! I'm going to pick up Rosie from school; I want to be one of the first ones there.