Psycho Poo

In my almost 3 decades of life, I've had a lot of experience with poo. I've had a dog that has excreted death poo (poo that makes you wish for death) that I've had to put in a plastic bag and store in a trash bin on our porch. Then when enough of these plastic bags have accumulated, I take the bin out to the trash truck that comes once a day. You think bagged poo is gross? Imagine 10 bags of poo, swimming in their own juices, sitting on a hot porch. One time, I noticed things that looked like dust on the inside of the trash bin. Thinking it was nothing, I let it be. Then one day, as I was dropping another poo poo baggie into the trash bin, little baby flies flew out from within, and I then realized I had been housing maggots. All this is to say, I've had gross experiences with poo. But yesterday, I had a scarring poo experience from psycho baby. 

It started like a normal day. Baby woke up, happy and crazy. After breakfast, I smelt the poo smell coming from her diaper. Laying her down, I opened her diaper to find a small nugget pressed up against her inner thighs. (She is now eating solids so everything comes out like little nuggets.) I wiped it up, or wrapped it up, then proceeded to wipe baby's butt down. Suddenly, a horrible hissing noise came from her butt. I thought it was just some gas. But then this happened: 

More and more came, twisting and squirming on it's way out. I was ill equipped at the time and fumbled with diapers and wipes as this was happening. Baby thought it was funny to squirm at this time. Just when I thought it was done and I was going in to wipe, the eye of Sauron opened some more and the last watery logs sloshed out. This may seem like a small poo experience, but for some reason I felt faint and deeply affected. Changed. 

I don't doubt it was intentional on baby's part. In any case, we have a new rule. Wait five minutes for all poo to come out.